Monogamous gay couples
Gay Men in Monogamous Relationships: What Works?
There&#;s a widespread myth that gay men can&#;t, won&#;t, or don&#;t maintain drawn-out term monogamous LGBTQ relationships. The actual world, according to superb research, is that hundreds of thousands of gay men in long designation relationships are enjoying sexually satisfying monogamous relationships.
If you are interested in maintaining a long legal title monogamous relationship, here are four tips to help you along the way:
Talk About Sex
Perhaps we learn from the movies that excellent sex should just happen immediately and automatically, with lots of passionate bumping into tables and knocking pictures off walls. In life, like all aspects of a connection, it gets much better if we talk about it.
For some couples this is difficult. Sex for gay men &#; as skillfully as for everyone else &#; can be doused with a heavy serving of shame which can make it embarrassing to argue. It takes apply and courage. For many couples it is safer to talk about sex with your clothes on. For foremost results give the conversation a liveliness of playfulness and flirtation ra
“The Gay Man’s Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage”: an excerpt
By MICHAEL DALE KIMMEL
My first book will be published on June 8th and will be present on Amazon. It has taken me more than seven years to inscribe it, but, finally, it’s out in the world! Now it’s time for it to live on its own (outside my head). I’d like to give you a sneak preview. Here is a bit of the book’s Introduction, which sets the tone for what’s to follow. I hope you enjoy it:
For centuries, heterosexual people have defined what marriage is. It started out as a type of possession: “I control you.” Hardly anchored in love, was it? And yet, this is the model that most of the human race has embraced for hundreds of years. Only in the last century or so has marriage begun to be based on affection, mutual respect and understanding.
Now, when two men examine getting married, we no longer have to perform it “that” way. This is a cause for rejoicing! This is genuine freedom! So why aren’t we more excited about this? Because this gentle of freedom isn’t simple. It’s quite daunting to invent or re-invent a cultural institution
I’ve held this personal bias (irrational judgment?) against non-monogamous relationships for years.
I’ve had two open relationships in the past and both ended badly. But I also happen to have several really good friends who are either in or have explored relationships beyond monogamy, which are generally more common in the lgbtq+ community. So, I often locate myself bumping up against my subconscious judgments of people who I respect and love simply for having a relationship arrangement that didn’t work out for me.
Recently, I decided it was finally time I confront my bias head-on and hear some friends out on their experiences with non-monogamy: the good, the bad, and the beautiful.
SEE ALSO: 7 people on what it’s really like to be polyamorous
First, I was curious why it seemed so many queers just couldn’t seem to keep it in their pants, even after deciding to commit. Make no mistake, monogamous relationships are still the standard, regardless of how you identify. However, a recent study suggests 30% of queer men are actively in non-monogamous relationships. Some might even arg
I had the opportunity to talk with psychotherapist and author Michael Dale Kimmel about his new publication, The Gay Man's Reference to Open and Monogamous Marriage. Having written a book of my possess on modern marriage, I am particularly interested in how Kimmel not only provides a necessarily specific guide for male/male marriages, but also how this wisdom can be utilized by all couples, regardless of gender. Our conversation is below.
MOC: Reveal me about The Queer Man's Guide to Uncover and Monogamous Marriage.
MDK: I began offering workshops for gay, bisexual, and non-binary men about eighteen years’ ago, and after a couple of years there were always a several guys who came up to me and said (in whispered tones), “You’ve got to put this stuff in a book.” I had no yearn for to write a publication at that time. But I did start writing my advice column, “Life Beyond Therapy” soon after, for local LGBT newspapers. I asked readers to send in questions. (Boy, did they ever!)
Then about five years ago, a writer friend of mine recommended me to a publisher, who asked me to submit an idea for a manual. I d