I love my gay son

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• Authenticity and Deeper Faith through Journey With Queer Son

His journey has been a catalyst for my own journey to greater authenticity and I am deeply thankful for that. I now consider it one of the greatest blessings of my life to have a gay son. My own faith has blossomed and been renewed, and we are now part of a fully welcoming church where we have made delightful new friends.

• Briefly describe how your child first came out to you and your initial reactions.

• While on a church youth retreat, my son promised himself he would come out to us (his parents) before leaving residence after high school. He place it off until the last minute, and came to me late at night after his father had already gone to bed. He said he had something to tell me. I could see that he was shaking with fear. I told him whatever it was would not change my love for him. He said he &#;had struggled with homosexual feelings&#; since his early teens. As a psychologist, I had an intellectual understanding of same-sex attraction
  

  Responding in Love to an Adult Gay Child

  In This Series:

  If you&#;ve ever heard the words &#;I&#;m gay&#; from a son or daughter, the announcement probably came as the shock of a lifetime. You likely cycled through an entire catalog of utmost emotions: shock, disbelief, rage, guilt. Then came the questions for you and your spouse: Why did this happen? Where did we fail? And how do we as Christians and loving parents respond to our child&#;s proclaimed homosexuality?

  Stephen Arterburn, best-selling writer and respected Christian psychologist, says many parents of homosexual children withhold cherish and affection because they&#;re afraid to appear approving of the gay lifestyle. The truth is that your child needs unconditional love and acceptance more than ever. Withholding adore will only make a difficult situation worse. Retain that acceptance is not the same thing as approval. Acceptance means acknowledging what is true. It does not mean you must compromise your convictions about what constitutes right and wrong, nor does it mean you condone homosexual behavior and practices.

  Help! My Son is Gay

  by Ricky Chelette, Executive Director

  “So should I push my son towards women now?”  That’s a question I often get from fathers of young men who are struggling with same gender attractions. Dads are often devastated by the discovery of their son’s homosexuality.  But the retort to their son’s struggle is not to push him into the arms of a woman.  In fact, such a move could actually do more damage than good.
  But what should a dad perform for his son? In a word:  connect!  I understand when saying that many dads might think, “I am connected to my son. He’s my son. I’ve been around him since birth. We are fine.”  But the fact is that simply being display doesn’t mean you have any gentle of emotional, intimate, connection with your son. He is a sensitive guy who needs to be spoken to in a language he can overhear and understand. Proclamations of facts perform little to go his heart. He wants words dripping with raw passion and heart-felt love. He wants to know you, intimately, and feel the weight of your passion for him.  In many ways, he wants you to look him straight in hi
  
  

  “You want to shove those words back in and put the lid on. But you can’t. Your child is gay. This goes against everything you’ve been taught. It was not what you had in mind, and you instantly wonder where you went wrong.”

  When you develop a parent, you understand to expect the unexpected. But for many Christian parents, nothing can plan them to hear that their beloved child is gay. This is the child you have cradled, spoon fed mashed bananas, and dreamed a gorgeous future for. How could this be? What will the church say? What will your friends say? What does the future hold? You can’t even get your head around this.

  If you are a Christian parent, family member or friend to whom your loved one has come out as male lover or lesbian, then this is for you.

  I propose you to sit down, relax, maybe get a cup of tea, and soak in what I’m about to tell you. My hope is to guide you as we walk for a bit through this maze of confusion, to help you find your way to wholeness. In many Christian circles, this is not good news, and you may begin to spiral into reflection and self-searching. We’ll ge