How do you know if your teenager is gay

Book Excerpt: Is Your Child Gay?

Excerpted fromWhy Is the Penis Shaped Like That? … And Other Reflections on Being Human, by Jesse Bering, by arrangement with Scientific American/Farrar, Straus and Giroux, LLC (North America), Transworld Ltd (UK), Jorge Zahara Editora Ltda (Brazil). Copyright © by Jesse Bering.

We all know the stereotypes: an unusually light, delicate, effeminate air in a little boy's step, an interest in dolls, makeup, princesses and dresses, and a strong distaste for rugged play with other boys. In little girls, there is the outwardly boyish stance, perhaps a penchant for tools, a square-jawed readiness for physical tussles with boys, and an aversion to all the perfumed, delicate trappings of femininity.

These behavioral patterns are feared, loathed and often spoken of directly as harbingers of adult homosexuality. It is only relatively recently, however, that developmental scientists have conducted controlled studies to identify the earliest and most reliable signs of grown-up homosexuality. In looking carefully at the childhoods of gay adults,

What I Did When My Year-Old Son Came Out as Gay

My son was 11 years old when he told me he was bisexual. I honestly would’ve been less surprised if he’d pulled out a switchblade and told me he’d joined the Warriors street gang.

“Thank you for confiding in me,” I told him. I only knew to tell that because I was the last parent in my social circle with a kid to appear out as either same-sex attracted, bi or gender nonbinary. A global survey conducted in 27 countries (including the U.S.) and released last June found that nearly 1 in 5 young adults — those born after , otherwise known as Generation Z — identify as something other than straight.

But you know what doesn’t assist when you’re sitting in a car with your year-old as he tells you that he’s sexually attracted to both boys and girls? Statistics. You could tell me 1 in 5 Gen Zers are growing goatees, and my first thought would still be, My son is too young for a goatee!

According to Christy Olezeski, the director and cofounder of the Yale Pediatric Gender program, my first reaction was the right one. “The parent should say, ‘Thank

Worried about your gender identity? Directions for teenagers

If you feel bewildered about your gender identity, you're not alone.

Many teenagers scrutinize their gender, whether they feel female, male, non-binary or any of the other terms used on the gender spectrum.

Some people consider that society has become more accepting of differences in gender identity.

Although most people do not question their gender, for some immature people their gender identity is more complex.

You may scrutinize your gender if your interests and social life act not fit with society's expectations of the gender you were assigned at birth.

You may feel:

that you cannot distinguish with being just male or female
that you identify with multiple genders
that you have no gender (agender)
that you are non-binary

Or, you may have a solid sense of existence a gender that is different to the sex you were assigned at birth and may feel that this has affected the way you notice about your body.

For young people who feel distressed about their gender, puberty can be a very difficult and stressful time.

Puberty is a ti

Many adults who are same-sex attracted say they always knew since they time they were young children that they were different. But for children things may not seem so remove when they are living through feelings of existence "different". Even for adolescents there is a fantastic deal of pressure to be sure of their sexuality. Sometimes there is pressure to "come out". And sometimes there is pressure to "fit in" and act straight. All of this can be overwhelming for your kid to deal with alone.

And it can be overwhelming for parents to deal with too! Let's tackle it, most parents don't wish their children will be gay. But, as parents, we don't find to pick if they are gay or vertical. It just happens one way or the other. Openly talking with your child early on about homosexuality is important. It is an easy way to spare your youngster feelings of confusion and isolation should he change out to be same-sex attracted. Also he will probably feel much more cozy coming to you in the future with questions. If your child should turn out to be gay, be honest with yourself about how you feel. Feeling such as guilt, estrangement